


In her head

by N8schatten



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:01:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25940290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N8schatten/pseuds/N8schatten
Summary: In her head River had a whole speech.
Relationships: The Doctor/River Song
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	In her head

**Author's Note:**

> I had a bad day, this it the result of it.

In her head River had a whole speech.

River had a whole speech prepared to throw at the Doctor. It was filled with sass and sarcasm. One or two innuendos and a lot of anger, hurt and betrayal.

Anger over the fact that he acted like an idiot, who thought he could ignore her and his feeling for her. Because damn him, was he really thinking she didn’t know his tells? Like the little twitchy finger thing he did when he wanted to brush her curls aside. Or the subtle movement of his lips, because he wanted to kiss her senseless. Hell if she wanted to be cruel she could just tell him she could smell his erection and the desire. She was basically a Time Lady, thank you very much.

A part of Rivers speech was hurt, because of the things he had said in their last encounter and the way he acted right now. This man in front of her was past that, and he knew exactly what he had done. River could see it in her mother’s eyes and in the way her father stayed closer to her than a him not knowing her usually would. Her parents (who weren’t her parents right know) new and the Doctor still ignored it, and it hurt like hell.

The betrayal was …well, because he looked at her and looked away. After she saved him and Rory the last time and …

River closed her eyes and took a deep breath adjusting the TARDIS controls behind her (not) husbands back and smiled at her parents.

Inside her mind River screamed and raged, about the reckless behaviour the Doctor showed and about the way he put her parents in danger.

She wanted to cuss him out so badly she started to say something. Just about to scream at him for hurting Rory with his behaviour towards Amy. For running into danger with Amy at his hand. For looking at her like she was a monster.

River wanted to grab and shake him. Telling him off and make him realise how badly he hurt her family. _HIS_ family.

River screamed inside her head. She screamed her rage and hurt. Spat her betrayal at him and unloaded all her pain and hurt at him, because he was the cause for most of it.

Outside of her head River didn’t do anything. She just smiled and made sure her husband didn’t do something stupid. She flirted with him until her dad was squirming and her mother grinning like a maniac.

Sometimes she would find herself standing at the reeling with clenched fists. Her knuckles white from the tension in her hands. A faint tremor from suppressed feelings.

Other times her eyes started to sting and water. Her breathing hitched and for a moment she couldn’t even tell where she was. Her hearts clenching she would meet the Doctors eyes. Who were hard and cold and not a little bit trusting. She would see her reflection in his eyes, and she knew. Right now she was a monster in his eyes and it took her breath away.

Still, no matter how angry she was, never ever left a word of pain her lips. She didn’t dare to show her anger over his behaviour or a hint of hurt.

Never let him see the damage. She could do that, all she had to do, was to ignore her feelings.

Even doe it meant, that in her head, River had a whole speech.


End file.
